Christmas Gift 2009

MERRY CHRISTMAS DAD, CHRISTI, TYCE, GRADY, HANNAH, MINDY, and to anyone else who may come across this post!

My first music video. Worked my butt off on this. Probably spent WAAAAY more time making this video than I could/should have, but every time I hear this song I think of Skip Beat! I was compelled to make the video to go with this song.

Everything is where I want it except for one tiny tiny clip (about 0.02 seconds off) due to the limitations of Windows Movie Maker.

Hope you enjoy this!

Still no luck

How does one stop feeling sorry for themselves and not go into depression when they loose something important to them?

I'm having a hard time with the losing my job thing. I've submitted a slew of resumes but no responses yet. A lot of the postings don't close until this upcoming week, but some have already closed and I never even was offered interviews. At least I recieved notice the jobs were filled.

As time goes on though I find myself feeling sorry for myself more and more. I can't help but question everything that's gone on until now. Such as, was it really corporate who decided to get rid of me? Or was the regional manager merely told to get rid of X many people, and he chose me?

He never liked me, and I sure as Hell didn't like him. Or his buddies.

Anyway... I keep trying to force myself to get up and out and do things, but I'm starting to lose the motivation.

Job hunting sucks!

As the title says, job hunting sucks! I was laid off from work a week and a half ago. I'm not wasting time to find a new job, but the emotion of getting let go from a job I liked have me feeling bad. I don't WANT a new job. *sigh*

New Addition to the Family

My sister is at the hospital this very moment in Labor. My niece should be born sometime today (unless it's a really LOOONG labor!).

Happy Birth-day Hannah!

Other stuff--

I've been writting a fanfic for Skip Beat! on fanfiction.net It's called Valentine's Disaster. I need to decide which direction to take it. I've placed it in the M (mature) section, but so far, it could be classified as T (teen ok but some language/violence/suggestive themes). It might probably get more traffic in the T section since most people think the M section is for smut, but if I move it into the T section, I may have to change some of my plans or tone them down. Silly decisions.

I'm really enjoying writing this fanfic though. I haven't sat down to write anything on-going in a long time, so it's sort of like stretching after a really long time of sitting still. Feels so good.

Still waiting for Skip Beat! 144 scanlation, and I'm getting anxious for it, but at least it'll be a smaller amount of time to wait before the next one comes out once we do finally get to read it!

Nostalgia

So, I was cleaning out an old memoir tub of things from elementary thru highschool.

I came across a poem that had no name on it, but it was clearly typed by myself or someone close to me. Knowing my family, it was either me or a sister, but I don't remember the poem and my sister knows she didn't write it (I called her).

Anyway... reading over it, if it indeed was mine, makes me wonder what was going on that I felt so ... well... alone.

"In My Head"

I sit alone
and try to hide.
I appear a clone
but I'm different inside.
I got the hair,
I got the clothes,
I really care
but nobody knows.
Alone in my world
no one can relate,
like dreams that have curdled
this is destiny,
my fate.
My thoughts are vast,
my opinions strong
my words will last,
when my body is gone.
I sit in the back
with an evil glare,
in confidence I lack,
friendship too afraid to share.
How'd you get this way
one may inquire
the way they said things they say
the way they looked, with eyes of fire.
I never fit in
they didn't like me much.
To be me was a sin,
imagination was my crutch.
To coping with life,
to coping with pain
Through suffering and strife,
to feeling insane.
I saw their rage
They didn't like my tone.
They put me in a cage,
now I'm dying

.......alone

If this was something I wrote (though I guess I kinda gotta accept it as mine - one line seems very familiar "dreams that have curdled") thinking back, it sorta feels like how I felt when we first moved to Alaska, and Mom stayed in Iowa for an extra few months to get things taken care of and the house sold.

I hat no friends, was living with my step-father and step-brother, and we were *NOT* getting along.

Impatient!

So I have a horrible addiction to Skip Beat! (manga).

The next chapter's supposed to be released on the 18th, but the raws have already come out.
Raws are nice and all, gives us some leeway for speculation, but when there's so much talking and no clear ACTION, I can't figure out a THING that's going on!

It's times like this (and every day another Manga's raws come out that I can't read! *cough*TheOne*cough*) that I'm tempted to learn Japanese.

I'm just too much of a slacker though.

Shirayuri, Mellylemon, please hurry!

Anxious!

I'm very anxious today and I don't know why. I'm anxious as if I'm waiting for something, but I don't know what and have nothing planned today.

Needed a place to write things out, thus, this blog.

I saw a news headline on Google News today about the SciFi channel changing it's name to SyFy. A play on slang and words I suppose.

The article was chastising SyFy for the name change saying they left out the vowels. Maybe so, but the writer of that article needs to go back to second grade, when we learned that Y may count as a vowel as well. Get an education and know your facts before you post crap like that! I can imagine all the grammar teachers out there and their agitation.